We all Need Someone to Lean On...

I was thinking the other day about the people I’ve worked with over the years – other ‘professionals’, co-workers, not clients.

I had heard when I was looking at working in counseling that some people got into counseling because of their own ‘unresolved’ issues. I remember thinking something like ‘well, I can see that, but there shouldn’t be too many of these kinds of people’.

Well, as it turns out the woods are full of them. I have attended countless workshops over the years, and worked with a number of people who have been working in the field for years, and those who’ve just graduated and starting out.

People in this field working out their own stuff usually come in one of two categories. The first being the openly weird. These folks have a number of issues. Usually every subject brought up is somehow directly connected to them. In a very personal way. They are easily moved to tears, very compassionate, and share how they either 1; overcame whatever problem you have 2; know a support group you can go to (and there are times they’ll offer to personally take you to the group) or 3; how they continue to struggle with the problem, winning some battles, losing some.

I must admit, they drive me crazy in workshops. They have a story for everything brought up. They love to do exercises in the workshop. Exercises are points in a workshop where the facilitator ‘encourages’ everyone to participate by doing something to help make his or her point impact everyone ‘on a personal level’. These people are usually very excited and look around at others sitting near to say ‘we’re in a group, right?’ I don’t mind people being enthusiastic, but they take it to a whole new level. Downright perky. And they want to hug. Every chance they get.

The second group is comprised of those who are weird, but are able to hide it somehow. I’ve worked in supervisory positions, responsible for hiring staff. I’ve interviewed my fair share of this group – in an interview they’re able to present with knowledge of how to work with clientele, clear, strong boundaries, good ‘people’ skills, and an understanding of, and agreement the company’s rules are fair and suitable. They cruise through follow up interviews and get the job.

These people begin showing their weirdness after working for a while. The time varies. I think of it as ‘they begin to crack’ and their real selves begin showing. Usually it starts with little things. Like coming into work late, which in and of itself is not a problem, but it becomes more than ‘once in a while’. When spoken to, they talk about reasons why they’re late. Never their fault. Ever. Then, they begin having ‘people problems’. They may get hostile toward co-workers, but usually not in a very open way. And when spoken to about this, they talk about how they’re ‘misunderstood’. They begin falling behind on paperwork. And then a client may make a complaint about how they felt they were treated by the staff person. And each time they’re spoken to, they have a reason, they justify their actions, or they were misunderstood. Then they do better for a while. Depending on how well put together they are, they may do well for a month or two, but sometimes they can’t keep it together that long and begin ‘cracking’ again after a week or two.

I’ve seen people like this just get up, walk out of the office and never return. If that doesn’t happen, I’ve had to fire people. In spite of all the evidence I have, in paper trails I’ve compiled, they are truly pissed off. They have been wronged, and ‘railroaded’ and unfairly treated. But thankfully, I’ve always had my ‘ducks in a row’ so to speak, making it difficult for them to logically argue their point. And I have had another supervisor with me when I’ve disciplined or fired people for two reasons; 1; a witness to report what happened and 2; a body I can throw in front of me if the person becomes violent.

Thank God I’m the sane one.