It's Not About Food, Is It?

My last blog focused on those negative messages, those lies we believe about ourselves and how those beliefs ‘consume’ us. (See What’s Eating You? Dated 6/15/09).

What we believe about ourselves affects all of our behaviors; our opinion of ourselves and the kind of person we believe we are. How we interact with family, friends, and strangers. Our beliefs help mold our educational experiences and our vocational decisions. Every aspect of life is directly impacted by what we believe about ourselves.

There are several questions you can ask yourself regarding those lies you believe, and in this blog we’ll look at one of the first questions:

What do you steal from others when you continue to project this lie?

We are aware of, at least on some level how believing this lie affects us; how it impacts our self esteem and what messages we give ourselves. But by believing this lie we also affect our relationships with others – we keep those who care for us at a distance. We steal from them the opportunity to care for us, to love us.

For example – let’s say the lie you believe is ‘I deserve to have bad things happen to me because I am a bad person’. This lie may have come from any number of places; our interactions with those important to us growing up for instance. Parents, teachers, those who played a central role in your life, even for a brief period of time.

And the conclusion you came to; ‘I deserve to have bad things happen to me because I am a bad person’ is based on your interpretations of those interactions and other life events. Those people may have never intended to influence you in such a way, or for you to come to this conclusion about yourself, but that doesn’t matter because this is what you came to believe and still hold true about yourself.

Take a moment now, close your eyes, and think about what it is you believe about yourself. Remembering how your belief influences your thoughts and behaviors, not only with strangers and acquaintances such as co-workers, but particularly with those you are close to. Ask yourself; ‘what am I preventing people from doing or saying when I act on this lie?’

Letting go of the lie can be difficult. We’ve had this in our lives for so long, and while it’s not been healthy, while it’s hurt us, it’s what we know.

But you can let go. You can quit the lie and be healthier and happier. Be aware of when you act on your lie and decide to do something differently. Just doing one thing differently is going to create change in your life and you are going to be different.

Do that one thing.

Namaste
Dennis

What's Eating You?

I recently returned from my internship training regarding advanced practices using hypnosis. The focus was on treating eating disorders. The time spent was not only about treating the ‘traditional’ eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, and compulsive eating, but also focused on unhealthy practices we have in life.

‘What’s consuming you’ or ‘what and where are you consuming junk in your life that keep or prevent you from doing good things for yourself and others’?

Great question. Many of us believe something negative or unhealthy about ourselves that stops or impedes us from developing in our physical, emotional, intellectual and/or spiritual lives.

Think about it. What do you believe about yourself? If you’re not sure, then one way to begin answering that question is paying attention to the messages you give yourself. When you do something good, or make a mistake what do you say to yourself? When you lie in bed at the end of the day, before you fall asleep, what runs through your mind? The answers help you understand what it is you believe about yourself.

Look at patterns in your life. What kind of people do you attract regarding relationships, either romantic or friendship/social. What kind of vocation or employment do you have or have you had? Are you always ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ in life?

Does the way you live your life reflect that you are a victim, or that you hassle others, or that you rescue people?

You don’t have to keep being like this. You can be different. Even if you have lived your entire life believing/consuming the lie or lies about yourself. That you’re not good. That you deserve what you have. That you have earned your pain. That you’re a bad person. I say none of this is true.

I have been a therapist long enough to know that you can be different. You can change. I watch people do it every day. I do it.

So stop consuming the lie. Be different.

Namaste
Dennis