Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A Journal Entry for the End of the Year

The year coming to a close…what have I learned? Well, I have learned that being grateful puts me in a better space emotionally and spiritually, that being grateful attracts positive things in my life…and being grateful is a big change for me. I have been less than grateful in the past.
I have learned that meditation is a powerful tool and a powerful way for God to directly communicate to me; and a way to relax…focus…take ‘time out’. Meditation is a positive change in my life and has been a big change; it reflects my shift in focus into the spiritual realm, allowing God back into my life, and listening to what God has to say to me. I have been and continue to be grateful and privileged that I am able to talk with and listen to God in my life.

I have learned that God is not this mean entity out to ‘test’ me and punish me when I fail the test – God wants nothing but the best in my life and the more open I am to listening to God, and being aware of opportunities to grow and risk and just ‘be out there’, the more success I have.
I am a remarkable person, I have learned (and am still learning) – I am lovable the way I am. I am worthy of others’ love and I am a worthwhile person – people want to know how I feel as well as what I think. I am lovable…to me.

I trust more than I did at the 1st of this year; I trust more that God is Providing Abundantly to me and to my family. Trust is a big thing, connected to being lovable, being worthwhile, and knowing that God is going to Provide Abundantly. I only need to keep my eyes and ears open for awareness of the opportunity. God DOES Provide.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Give and Take of Marriage

My wife and I were out during our first major snowfall on Tuesday – picking up various items and enjoying our time together. Our first stop: Bob Evans on Glenway. We really like this place. It’s become our ‘breakfast place to eat’ when we go out for breakfast.

Then it was off to pick up salt for the driveway, and a few groceries. I enjoy my wife’s company. She likes talking, and I enjoy listening to her talk. She doesn’t ‘yammer’ away, talking just to hear herself talk. She has great wit, she’s very intelligent, and is funny. It’s a great arrangement between us. Like cooking; I like to cook, and since she doesn’t, she cleans up. Works well.

There are some things I just can’t bring myself to ‘appreciate’ the way she does. My wife is a huge animal lover. I have two cats because of her. She found Gracie, the calico outside the apartment I was living in, and I let myself be talked into taking in the cat. That was about six or seven years ago. Then last year, there was an orange kitten huddling on my porch from the rain/snow/sleet storm meowing. It was then I took in ‘Puddy’ (named after Elaine’s boyfriend on Seinfeld). I enjoy the cats. They don’t require a lot of maintenance and appreciate my attention. And they can be very affectionate.

Anyway, my wife. I love her, but I can’t bring myself to care about or worry about animals the way she does. We have these two goldfish that go outdoors in the base of this small fountain. She bought a new aquarium because she felt they’d outgrown their old one. She worries about squirrels. Every dog she sees is like listening to someone coo over a baby.

None of this upsets me in any way. It’s part of what I love about her. I do have to smile and shake my head at times, though. Like when we were at Meijer – I was looking for one of those pine-scented candles (I love the smell of those things) and asked her to check for them in another part of the store. When we met back up, she informed me that she’d gotten distracted looking at the fish and that I needed to come over and look at the cute ‘molly’s’. I think she feels sad for me because I don’t see the simple beauty (or whatever) in fish.

But, that’s a reason I love her so much. She appreciates things like that and I think of sushi.