The Give and Take of Marriage

My wife and I were out during our first major snowfall on Tuesday – picking up various items and enjoying our time together. Our first stop: Bob Evans on Glenway. We really like this place. It’s become our ‘breakfast place to eat’ when we go out for breakfast.

Then it was off to pick up salt for the driveway, and a few groceries. I enjoy my wife’s company. She likes talking, and I enjoy listening to her talk. She doesn’t ‘yammer’ away, talking just to hear herself talk. She has great wit, she’s very intelligent, and is funny. It’s a great arrangement between us. Like cooking; I like to cook, and since she doesn’t, she cleans up. Works well.

There are some things I just can’t bring myself to ‘appreciate’ the way she does. My wife is a huge animal lover. I have two cats because of her. She found Gracie, the calico outside the apartment I was living in, and I let myself be talked into taking in the cat. That was about six or seven years ago. Then last year, there was an orange kitten huddling on my porch from the rain/snow/sleet storm meowing. It was then I took in ‘Puddy’ (named after Elaine’s boyfriend on Seinfeld). I enjoy the cats. They don’t require a lot of maintenance and appreciate my attention. And they can be very affectionate.

Anyway, my wife. I love her, but I can’t bring myself to care about or worry about animals the way she does. We have these two goldfish that go outdoors in the base of this small fountain. She bought a new aquarium because she felt they’d outgrown their old one. She worries about squirrels. Every dog she sees is like listening to someone coo over a baby.

None of this upsets me in any way. It’s part of what I love about her. I do have to smile and shake my head at times, though. Like when we were at Meijer – I was looking for one of those pine-scented candles (I love the smell of those things) and asked her to check for them in another part of the store. When we met back up, she informed me that she’d gotten distracted looking at the fish and that I needed to come over and look at the cute ‘molly’s’. I think she feels sad for me because I don’t see the simple beauty (or whatever) in fish.

But, that’s a reason I love her so much. She appreciates things like that and I think of sushi.

Donut, Dounut or Doughnut?

"You know, sometimes it is the artist's task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left." – Itzhak Perlman


Recently, my 24 year old son got a dog. A puppy. The thing must have been really young, it was very tiny. My wife told me later she thought it was like 6 or 7 weeks old. I’m not big on identifying what breed a dog is. It’s big or small, short or long haired, and house-broken or not. That’s about it for me.

And I really enjoy dogs. We have three of them. They all live downstairs with my wife. (Another blog for another day that talks about our living arrangement which works so very well for us.) We rescued 2, and the third is a Pomeranian. I have 2 cats, Gracie and Puddy, so I guess I am a ‘cat person’ although I don’t think of myself like that.

Anyway, back to ‘Dounut’ the dog that belongs to my son. (Ed. note: rainie notes that the spelling of the dog's name has not yet been confirmed with the son. The spelling here is Dennis's version). Yeah, he called to tell me about this and I worried some about the dog. Would my son take care of the dog? Knowing my son as I do, my worry was that the dog was a short term interest for him. Once the newness of the dog wore off, he’d stop paying attention to it, and the dog would be left to fend for itself (Ed. note: Dennis's worst fear was that his editor...errr...wife would intervene on behalf of the puppy).

I have been very pleasantly surprised. My son has had this dog now for 3 months. He takes Dounut everywhere he goes, and they’ve really bonded. It’s so cool to watch them. One evening recently my son calls me to say, ‘Dad, this dog gets me up every 2 hours at night to go to the bathroom’. I said, ‘well that’s good practice for when you have kids’.

My son has done really well with Dounut. They come over on Monday evenings to watch football, and my wife comes up to visit with them. She and my son have developed a cool relationship over Dounut. That’s been fun to watch.

My wife tells me I am now a ‘grandpa’ and she’s ‘grammy’ to Dounut. She’ll talk to Dounut and say, ‘go see grandpa’ – I am sighing and rolling my eyes as I write this.

Life is really good. I have the love of my family and Dounut.