What's Eating You?

I recently returned from my internship training regarding advanced practices using hypnosis. The focus was on treating eating disorders. The time spent was not only about treating the ‘traditional’ eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, and compulsive eating, but also focused on unhealthy practices we have in life.

‘What’s consuming you’ or ‘what and where are you consuming junk in your life that keep or prevent you from doing good things for yourself and others’?

Great question. Many of us believe something negative or unhealthy about ourselves that stops or impedes us from developing in our physical, emotional, intellectual and/or spiritual lives.

Think about it. What do you believe about yourself? If you’re not sure, then one way to begin answering that question is paying attention to the messages you give yourself. When you do something good, or make a mistake what do you say to yourself? When you lie in bed at the end of the day, before you fall asleep, what runs through your mind? The answers help you understand what it is you believe about yourself.

Look at patterns in your life. What kind of people do you attract regarding relationships, either romantic or friendship/social. What kind of vocation or employment do you have or have you had? Are you always ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ in life?

Does the way you live your life reflect that you are a victim, or that you hassle others, or that you rescue people?

You don’t have to keep being like this. You can be different. Even if you have lived your entire life believing/consuming the lie or lies about yourself. That you’re not good. That you deserve what you have. That you have earned your pain. That you’re a bad person. I say none of this is true.

I have been a therapist long enough to know that you can be different. You can change. I watch people do it every day. I do it.

So stop consuming the lie. Be different.

Namaste
Dennis

Can't Get No...

Sex – one of the most sensitive issues people deal with – either individually or as a couple.

One of the more common problems I’ve seen has been E.D., or erectile dysfunction. I have worked with guys individually and couples regarding this problem. While the advent of the ‘little blue pill’ has decreased the number of people coming to me with this problem, I still see people with this concern.

While it can be a funny topic and easy to joke about, when it becomes a personal problem it can be embarrassing and isolating. Typically the guy isn’t talking to anyone about this, and let’s face it: this is not something we guys usually sit down over a beer and say to our friends, ‘I can’t get an erection’.

And I’ve found that talking to your spouse or partner can be just as difficult. I was seeing a couple who was in a strong relationship but had been having difficulties sexually for several months. He couldn’t get an erection, or, when he did, he could not maintain an erection. They tried everything they could think of to make it better without success. The final straw for them was one evening after yet another failure for them sexually, his wife began sobbing while leaning over the guy’s penis. I try not to picture that.

There are lots of factors that can contribute to this kind or type of problem. The first thing to rule out is any medical problem. I’ll ask if that has been checked out. If not, then I instruct them to do so. A medical problem may be easily resolved. Some common medications can also cause E.D. and men should discuss this frustrating side effect with their doctor.

Another very common problem people have that impacts them sexually is stress. The thing about stress is when you’re experiencing stress, you usually don’t see it or aren’t aware of it. This is especially true if the stress has been going on for a while. Many times I’ve seen this problem resolve itself when the stress or stressors have been identified and either effectively dealt with or resolved.

Another possible concern is this sexual concern may be related to a relationship problem with your partner or wife. This has the potential to be serious; but then, maybe not. I’ve seen problems resolved when couples hold meaningful conversations. There are times when, during a conversation or over the course of several conversations, each becomes aware that there are serious issues that need to be addressed and have manifested into a problem with sex. But addressing these issues in counseling can be very helpful. It can completely revive a seemingly dying relationship.

So, while talking with a stranger about ‘not being able to get it up’ is difficult, knowing that you are working with a professional, someone who has training, experience, sensitivity, and objectivity dealing with this concern can be reassuring. I’d suggest you talk with someone.